http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com Jimmy Eat World Rocks! Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:44:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 en hourly 1 http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/09/the-world-according-to-barf/ http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/09/the-world-according-to-barf/#comments Thu, 03 Sep 2009 02:09:29 +0000 admin http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/09/the-world-according-to-barf/ Hangovers I have had. But that morning, it broke all records for raw pain. I’m one day out of hospital and several pints to the worse in the pub after the ambulance releases me back into the wild. You have these great Disney pictures in your mind — Bambi has been rescued from a fate worse than death by some cute kids who nurse him back to health (giving him Acomplia to help him quit whatever he’s on). Then, with tears in their eyes, they let him go. The shot tracks Bambi just out-of-sight behind a bush where a lion tears it to bits (what a waste of good Acomplia unless it cures the lion of its addiction to Bambis). Well that’s how I feel. That night of joy in the pub, welcoming home the conquering hero, has left me on a rack of pain. Everything that could hurt, hurts big time.My lion is my life in the pub with friends who live for the moment without thinking about consequences. I’ve just had a heart attack which left me lying on my back in hospital for days with the chance to think about how my life has gone down the toilet. But, within minutes of coming home, I’m chugging beer, cigarette in my hand again, and pie and chips swilling around inside the stomach. Everything that was supposedly off-limits was instantly back in play. No Acomplia inside me to help me beat the cravings. The result? I can’t think for the pain in my head. My eyes are gummed together. My mouth feels like someone’s already been sick in there. The wheezing from my lungs suggests I’m still alive, but only just. My chest feels like its on fire — there seems to be a little seepage of blood under the bandages — hopefully the operation scars haven’t opened too much. The news from the stomach is that I may part company with some of last night’s celebration sometime soon. And everything else just hurts.

Dimly, I recall the faint whiff of hope I had when in hospital. The promise of this Acomplia was supposed to keep me safe. A juju to keep the evil spirits away. The stories from the clinical trials were more than encouraging. Acomplia was a new kind of magic bullet — kill two birds with one stone. Enhance your weight loss program and deal with the smoking. Bang! All done and dusted! I may also be an alcoholic in the making, but let’s not go there for now. Three’s too much for one bullet.

So I gently prise open the eyes and start pretending I’m going to be able to get out of bed before bladder and stomach release their contents. Where’s my friendly team of nurses with bed pans and encouraging smiles when you need them. It really is remarkable how much they are a part of the cure. Their mixture of hard-working fun lifts flagging spirits. Even the talking heads with their well-meaning advice about how I’ve got to cut down on the beer, quit smoking and eat better are a break in the monotony of recovery. And always, this talk about Acomplia. This next six or seven weeks is just going to fly by — then you’ll be cured. What bullshit! But when you hear it, you grab on to it like you’re a drowning man. Well, drowning is the wrong word for a heart attack victim. But it’s a lifeline. Something to give you a sense you might live through all this.

I’m just starting to plan a trip to the doctor to get the prescription for Acomplia and have it at the chemists ready waiting for the day, when I suddenly realise that everything’s coming to a head (and all other parts of the anatomy). The race was on — the incentive for a man living on his own to hustle no matter what the pain is that it’s a real pain to clean vomit (and worse) off a carpet.





By: Jimmy Mehta ]]> http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/09/the-world-according-to-barf/feed/ 0 http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/08/walkers-of-the-world-unite-you-have-nothing-to-lose-but-your-pounds/ http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/08/walkers-of-the-world-unite-you-have-nothing-to-lose-but-your-pounds/#comments Sat, 15 Aug 2009 07:15:02 +0000 admin http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/08/walkers-of-the-world-unite-you-have-nothing-to-lose-but-your-pounds/ Now that I’m writing these pieces, it’s turning into a kind of diary — Confessions of a Loser. Weight Loss on Phentermine and Acomplia.

I kept a diary when I was a kid at school, recording all the really important things like the boys I fancied and how I would most like to lose my virginity with each of them. My mother found it one day and quietly burned it, saying it was the dirtiest book she’d ever read which, by the standards of the 1950s, wasn’t a hard prize to win. But I was devastated — that terrible mixture of shame and embarrassment in being found out.

Moving forward — until my moment in the supermarket, I was living my life without any sense of shame about my appearance. Yet even that begs the question. What has my appearance got to do with anyone else? If they don’t like what they see, let them look somewhere else. Now that sounds like something I should write when I’m on the phentermine. I always feel so positive and full of go during thse six weeks.

But when I wrote my last piece about walking, I hadn’t really thought back to those early days of exercise. With my calm Acomplia eye, I can see myself, red-faced and not quite staggering along the pavements round our neighbourhood. What an extraordinary sight I must have been. In a completely affectionate way, my husband had been referring to my thunder thighs for sometime, but it’s not until you have them slapping together in a quicker walk than usual that the full horror of it all should hit you. Yet, in my phentermine enthusiasm, I never gave it a second thought. Except when I came out with a few blisters and had to start massaging in some cream. Friction is a terrible curse when you carry a few extra pounds.

Even when I was in my washout period and then on Acomplia for the first time, I just kept on walking. I had no sense that I was in any way ridiculous. I was in my bubble, focussed on the one important thing in my life at that time (apart from the family). Well, even that’s not so clear. My motive for weight loss was my wish to enjoy my family for more years. But weight loss was suddenly “up there” with the “loved ones”.

So, day in, day out, my neighbourhood was treated to the unedifying sight of me waddling ever faster past their doors and windows. Perhaps my expression changed depending on whether it was a phentermine or Acomplia month. I must have given birth to quite a few “funny” stories, and probably at least one urban myth about a killer granny on the loose from the local loony bin and looking for someone to eat. But, with my clear Acomplia eye, I can see that I had one big advantage over anyone reading this in the USA.

In England, walking is not so unusual. Strange as it may seem to you, people really do walk to work or to the shops. So, when I was out ploughing my lonely furrow, I did stand out in a crowd, but not quite so much as you would in most North American cities where the automobile is king. I’ve been to the USA twice and it was immediately obvious that the only people walking were the eccentric and the desperately poor. Put me as a lone figure waddling down a street in your city. Now that’s a completely different ball game (as you might say).

As an agony aunt in the making, the only words of encouragement I can give you are the simple ones. Which is more important — your life or your image? So what if most around you mock and sneer. Think of the alternative. You are going to allow yourself to be intimidated into inactivity so you won’t lose weight as quickly or at all. Is that really what you want? There are times when you just have to accept the role of eccentric, learn to live with shame and embarrassment, and get on with your own life. Now where did I put my diary?





By: Jimmy Mehta ]]> http://www.jimmyeatworldsite.com/2009/08/walkers-of-the-world-unite-you-have-nothing-to-lose-but-your-pounds/feed/ 0